I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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