so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize