I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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