Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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