theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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