PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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I love having hate sex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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