I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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