You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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