did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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