so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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