it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
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moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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