I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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