got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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