he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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