His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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