So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize