She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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