Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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