have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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