so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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