Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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