I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
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