she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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