Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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