yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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