He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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