he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
These tits shall not be calmed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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