Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize