just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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