STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize