Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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