seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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