Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize