last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize