im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
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Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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