Whod you bang
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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