Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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