I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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