His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize