The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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