Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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