I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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