I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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