whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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