I'm going to jail i love you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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