Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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