you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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