We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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