I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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