He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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